What do you do when your baby girl (an adult by law, but forever my baby) tells you she is moving out?
Do you cry?
Do you let her go and become the independent adult you raised her to be?
Do you fall back on the traditions and values you were raised with and say no? Do you remember your own journey?
When I was her age, I wanted to move out and experience life on my own. The answer was no. I stayed because I had no other option, and eventually marriage became my escape. Looking back, that may not have been the best reason to get married, but at the time, it felt like my only path forward.
So what do you do when your own daughter is ready to leave the nest and begin her next chapter?
The truth is, I did a little bit of everything. I questioned, I worried, I reflected, but most of all, I cried. I was overwhelmed with emotions and uncertainty. All I could see was the baby I brought into this world 21 years ago. The little girl I wanted to protect from every disappointment and heartbreak. The child who somehow grew up far too quickly.
After a day filled with tears, I spoke with a friend who asked me a few simple but powerful questions:
“Did you do a good job raising her to be independent and pursue her dreams?”
“Do you remember young love?”
“Do you remember being so in love that you couldn’t imagine being apart from that person?”
The answer to all of those questions was yes.
And in those answers, I found strength.
If I truly believe that I raised her to be independent, courageous, and capable, then I must trust her to build her own life. I must trust the values I taught her, the lessons she learned, and the woman she has become.
As difficult as this transition is, I am incredibly proud of her. I am proud of her courage. I am proud of her determination to chase her dreams. I am proud of the strong, intelligent, and independent young woman standing before me today.
I don’t know where the years went, but I am grateful for every one of them. I am blessed to call her my daughter, my joy, and one of my greatest accomplishments.
To all of you beautiful women entering this empty nest season, let us remember that we gave our children the very best of ourselves. We guided them, supported them, loved them, and prepared them for this moment. Now comes the hardest part: letting them fly.
Let them chase their dreams. Let them discover who they are. Let them build lives that bring them happiness and purpose.
And let them know that no matter how far they go, our arms will always be open when they need comfort, encouragement, or a place to call home. They may become adults, but they will always be our babies.
I am still learning how to let go. It will take me some time. But I will get there, because loving her also means giving her the freedom to soar.
Love you, baby girl!
This is one of the hardest things about being a parent. I’ve been an empty nester for almost 20 years, and I miss my kids terribly. We live relativley close to each other, and I do see them often enough, but I miss the days of them being little. It’s our jobs as parents to raise our children to fly the nest, succeed on their own, be responsible adults…all the things but why does it have to hurt so much
Thanks for sharing your story. You’ve got this momma!
Thank you, Karen, for sharing your perspective. No matter how hard it is, it’s comforting to know that these feelings are so universal among parents. Your kind words and encouragement mean so much.
What a beautiful post for your daughter. As the mother of a 14-year-old myself, I can’t imagine how emotional it must be to watch our child leave the nest. You’ve done an amazing job raising her, be proud of the wonderful young woman she has become. Now it’s her time to spread her wings and soar. Blessings to you both!
Becoming an empty nester is hard at first, then you begin to enjoy the solitude. And then the grandkids come so enjoy the solitude. Thanks for sharing.