Do Not Assume, Just Ask!

My pastor used to say to never assume, because it… ??

It’s hard sometimes when you get so excited about something to have other not like the idea. I find it means I’m either not talking to the right people or maybe the idea needs some tweaking to make it good for everyone.

I come from a family of mental illness & addiction, and my favorite saying from their various self-help and rehabilitation programs is: “Expectations are the biggest killers of happiness”. I’m paraphrasing, but the basic concept is that when you make an assumption and then build it up into an expectation, people will most certainly let you down even if they’ve done their best. Because you’ve prepared for them to be something or someone that they were never prepared to be.

It really sucks when people are not on board with something you are excited about. I always find that a good “how do you feel about this” works well.

This life lesson never gets old and is always useful. Thank you so much for reminding me. Sometimes a simple shift in perception is all it takes 🙂 and you are right about failure. Failure isn’t bad, it leads to growth. Thank you so much for sharing!

Rach | https://rachaelhope.co.uk/

Assumptions can be a killer! Open and honest communication is the only way to successfully accomplish any task. I’ve learned that the hard way in many of my relationships!

I think that everyone thinks that everyone else thinks the way that we do. The more I interact with others, I realize how much differently I think. This realization has really helped me. Just be aware that others may not have realized this.

Growing up, I did not realize the worth of this action until I turned 15. I was stuffed by the emotional distress when I was a child that you have no option but to obey and never ask. This article turned me to not assume but to ask. Thanks for sharing.

So true that perceptions of different people hold the key to the type of outcome you will get when working in a team. The more we understand about how the people we work with perceive things, the more effective we can be in getting them to understand a different view and to have an open mind.

I agree perception can hold you back or cause you to soar.

Great read! I needed to hear this.

Honestly speaking dear I know how it feels. Expectations hurt. It hurts like anything or earth. I am recovering from something and this post was helpful for me.

This is something I needed to read. Thanks for sharing.

There are moments like this with my partner of 10 years. It’s sad but it’s something I’ve learned to live with. I’ve accepted the fact that even though we are together for so long, we have differences and that we need to respect that.

You’re right, communication is the key to understanding and also to getting other people on board… and assumptions can definitely be dangerous!

I agree with you. People nowadays, most, are very assuming. Pessimistic. They think you’re doing something bad but in reality and actuality, you’re doing nothing wrong.

Thank you for sharing this post. I get this a lot as I do not always think about everyone else’s ideas at first. Love your photos.

This is my rule- Don’t assume, just ask. It’s the right way of communication.

Such important advice. Thank you for opening up and sharing this!

A very positive way of viewing a potentially negative situation and great advice!

This is a very smart and mature way of thinking and very inspiring. I tend to jump to conclusions and also rather assume than to clarify – makes life more complicated, though.

Thank you for this. I can relate so much. I always tell my partner never to assume as it is the cause of most arguments.

So true that a lot of times we jump to negative conclusions. Give people a chance and be more open!

I appreciate that you turned this potential negative into a positive. I do hope you find a way to make your idea a reality and when the time is right that you have all of the support you need.

This can be applied in all parts of life. Like never assume others will know you need help, ask them. Never assume to know how how someone might feel about something, ask them. It saves you a lot of worry and doubt

It’s so important to have the right information before just assuming. I really love this post, thank you for posting.

I unfortunately had been a glass half empty person. But thanks for friends they are helping me to see the positive side of things. I am actually teaching myself how to be positive and not immediately react to see the negative side of things. It’s a process but when i do have that shift in my thinking good things happen for me!

I get it! It’s so easy to assume everyone will be as excited as you when you’re really passionate about something.

This is something which happens to me a lot too.I too am shifting perspective but not letting my dream die.Great post.

Very true. As they say, assumptions is the mother of all screw ups. Communication is a two-way process.

Your post is very inspirational. The best part is the last line. Train your eyes to see only the best and good.

I can definitely relate and apparently at the right timing too. One of my family members used the saved up food that I was suppose to cook today. I was literally devastated and mad cuz they didnt ask and they used it all up. But, there were times that I did also think that this was a good idea and everyone would like it. Very inspirational post.

Just Ask! I have had to do this in my marriage as well. We are usually in sync but being busy with work & kids we need to talk a lot more than we used to.

People making assumptions are hard! A lot of times stuff just isn’t what it sounds like at first glance!

This is very insightful. It can be difficult to let someone down easy when they have false assumptions sometimes!

Hi Marjie,
I can relate. I’m an excited person as well! Usually people don’t understand or agree with my thoughts. I use to get distraught until I realized God made me different. The world needs people who are positive and think different for the world be impacted in a big way. Keep shining bright.

Yes, we should always ask in advance, as most of the times people don’t feel or don’t think the way we feel and see things. That way there will be no disappointments.

I love this! Totally agree, people to assume far too much. I would prefer people to ask and just be open and honest x

I think we’ve all experienced that “shot down” moment. I applaud your resilience!

Oh it sucks you got shot down, but I love your positivity about it!

Its a shame that everyone doesn’t share your positivity and maybe more people should open their eyes to see the best in everything.

This is definitely the best advice I’ve seen in a long time! “Don’t assume just ask” That is exactly the beginning of all the problems I’ve had in life, starting by all the doctors, yes mam’ actual physicians who have attended medical school assuming things about me and giving me the wrong diagnosis for 19 years!!

Assumptions can cause so many communication problems. The most important thing I learnt in therapy was not to assume everyone knows how I am feeling. People aren’t mind readers! We need to communicate to understand each other.

This is indeed so very important to lead a peaceful life but then so very difficult to implement and put into practice, isn’t it? I am glad you found a way to overcome your troubles 🙂 More power to you!

I have trained my eyes to see the beauty in everything. It has made life more beautiful for me.

Asking is always free and no harm will be done. Sometimes assuming things causes damages.

Thanks, Harish!