Choosing joy over fear


It was a typical Friday; I was eager to end my work to start the weekend.  5 pm, I logged out of my computer, the doorbell rang, and quiet peace turned into despair. Although, it was expected, receiving that divorce paper upset me.  Everything became blurry, and for one second, I could not breathe as I witnessed my life shattering into pieces.

That moment of panic did not last long as I decided to shift my focus from that negative emotional Rollercoaster to something positive.  I chose to see the silver lining amid these darker clouds.  Even though I was hurting, I chose to be grateful for the present moment. I chose to focus on all the wonderful blessings that bring joy and peace to my life.  I chose to let hope fill my heart.

I looked outside the window and realized that I had everything that I needed, my life, my health, and endless opportunities for growth and new connections.  This realization liberates me from all fear and anxiety of that long legal divorce process ahead.

During challenging times, gratitude has always anchored me to the present and pulled me away from the worries of tomorrow.  I put that divorce paper on my work desk, locked it, and decided to enjoy my weekend as planned.

Saturday, I went to a beautiful wedding at the Rusty Pelican, a charming restaurant in Tampa, where the beautiful view of the bay reminds me that there is something greater than my problems and I will be okay.

Before the wedding

Sunday, I met with the ladies of Southshore Black and Seasoned Ladies, a group that I created about two years ago to connect strong black ladies.   We support each other and the bond that we share is priceless.  I am so thankful for these ladies and that brunch at the Pearl Restaurant with them, coupled with the perfect weather was another blessing that I could not take for granted.

One of my longtime friends invited me to a comedy show at the Funny Bone in the evening.  It was my first time seeing, Godfrey on stage.  He was hilarious, and beyond his humor, his message was deep and made me reflect.   That laughter therapy was all I needed to relieve that hidden pain.

None of these activities were planned; I went to the wedding with my coworker as her plus one could not make it. Out of nowhere, my friend invited me to the comedy show.  He knew that I would need support this week and He created a perfect plan for me. This is my sign that I would be okay during the divorce process.

Sharing my story on the blog is my way of coping and I know that I am not alone on this journey.  Hopefully, my simple words could help someone else see the silver lining as well. I know it will be hard and painful, but I am only thinking about the beautiful life I will create for myself when it’s over.

If you are reading this and you are going through a separation, know that you and I will be okay.  Let’s claim it.


  1. Sometimes things happen and we don’t know why, our attitude towards these unfortunate events is key. You will be okay!


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