Do Not Assume, Just Ask!

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Your perception holds the key which can open the door to your happiness, chaos, or any other emotion whether positive or negative.

Last week, I was so excited by a brilliant idea at work. Automatically, I assumed that everyone in my team would be as eager as I was to start that project.  I was wrong to believe that my positivity was infectious enough to get everyone on board. All that excitement and joy faded when I saw my teammates’ reaction. It was painful to see that my dream has died even before coming to life.

So I started to question myself? Was my approach wrong? Could I do it alone?  Why did it fail?  Once I asked the last question, my perspectives shifted, as I always see failure as an opportunity for me to grow. I realized that my assumption had blurred the reality.  Assuming that everyone was ready was wrong.

In my personal life, I have seen friends and family members getting tormented and assuming the wrong thing and getting upset, resulting in erratic behavior.  A simple question or honest communication could avoid many misunderstandings.

We are living in a challenging world; we should not put more distress in our lives by only seeing the negative or assuming the wrong in others.  Let’s shift our perception to only assume positive intent.

Next time, don’t assume, just ask and you will be surprised to see things are different than the way you thought.   Train your eyes to see the beauty in everything and you will live a peaceful life

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93 COMMENTS

  1. It’s hard sometimes when you get so excited about something to have other not like the idea. I find it means I’m either not talking to the right people or maybe the idea needs some tweaking to make it good for everyone.

  2. I come from a family of mental illness & addiction, and my favorite saying from their various self-help and rehabilitation programs is: “Expectations are the biggest killers of happiness”. I’m paraphrasing, but the basic concept is that when you make an assumption and then build it up into an expectation, people will most certainly let you down even if they’ve done their best. Because you’ve prepared for them to be something or someone that they were never prepared to be.

  3. Assumptions can be a killer! Open and honest communication is the only way to successfully accomplish any task. I’ve learned that the hard way in many of my relationships!

  4. I think that everyone thinks that everyone else thinks the way that we do. The more I interact with others, I realize how much differently I think. This realization has really helped me. Just be aware that others may not have realized this.

  5. Growing up, I did not realize the worth of this action until I turned 15. I was stuffed by the emotional distress when I was a child that you have no option but to obey and never ask. This article turned me to not assume but to ask. Thanks for sharing.

  6. So true that perceptions of different people hold the key to the type of outcome you will get when working in a team. The more we understand about how the people we work with perceive things, the more effective we can be in getting them to understand a different view and to have an open mind.

  7. There are moments like this with my partner of 10 years. It’s sad but it’s something I’ve learned to live with. I’ve accepted the fact that even though we are together for so long, we have differences and that we need to respect that.

    • True, Sabi, but we can choose to remain positive and optimistic in a world where everything seems to be dark. Let’s be a sparkle of joy and positive energy.

  8. This is a very smart and mature way of thinking and very inspiring. I tend to jump to conclusions and also rather assume than to clarify – makes life more complicated, though.

  9. I appreciate that you turned this potential negative into a positive. I do hope you find a way to make your idea a reality and when the time is right that you have all of the support you need.

  10. This can be applied in all parts of life. Like never assume others will know you need help, ask them. Never assume to know how how someone might feel about something, ask them. It saves you a lot of worry and doubt

  11. I unfortunately had been a glass half empty person. But thanks for friends they are helping me to see the positive side of things. I am actually teaching myself how to be positive and not immediately react to see the negative side of things. It’s a process but when i do have that shift in my thinking good things happen for me!

    • True, and it hurts to see some are not, Misty. Now, I try to be mindful of others and understand that we have different ways to see things.

  12. I can definitely relate and apparently at the right timing too. One of my family members used the saved up food that I was suppose to cook today. I was literally devastated and mad cuz they didnt ask and they used it all up. But, there were times that I did also think that this was a good idea and everyone would like it. Very inspirational post.

  13. Just Ask! I have had to do this in my marriage as well. We are usually in sync but being busy with work & kids we need to talk a lot more than we used to.

  14. Hi Marjie,
    I can relate. I’m an excited person as well! Usually people don’t understand or agree with my thoughts. I use to get distraught until I realized God made me different. The world needs people who are positive and think different for the world be impacted in a big way. Keep shining bright.

  15. Yes, we should always ask in advance, as most of the times people don’t feel or don’t think the way we feel and see things. That way there will be no disappointments.

  16. This is definitely the best advice I’ve seen in a long time! “Don’t assume just ask” That is exactly the beginning of all the problems I’ve had in life, starting by all the doctors, yes mam’ actual physicians who have attended medical school assuming things about me and giving me the wrong diagnosis for 19 years!!

  17. Assumptions can cause so many communication problems. The most important thing I learnt in therapy was not to assume everyone knows how I am feeling. People aren’t mind readers! We need to communicate to understand each other.

  18. This is indeed so very important to lead a peaceful life but then so very difficult to implement and put into practice, isn’t it? I am glad you found a way to overcome your troubles 🙂 More power to you!

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